I try to face the reality of the two me’s in my life without condemnation or violence.
But, it is foolish to fail to acknowledge that when mini-me is in charge he creates disintegration, chaos and pain. When I am living in spacious-me, wisdom, light and truth emerge. It only makes sense to do what I can to live more consistently in tune with spacious-me.
How might I live in such a way that I am more consistently in harmony with spacious-me?
We all have to find our own techniques. Here are some strategies that help me to live more consistently in spacious-me.
1. I do not create an identity of out mini-me. I know mini-me is real and that the choices mini-me makes have a serious impact on my life. But I am not mini-me. Mini-me is simply a conglomeration of coping techniques I developed early in life using the best tools I had at the time to help me navigate the difficulties and struggles I encountered.
I do not judge mini-me, I simply acknowledge that mini-me’s reactions are not helpful and life-giving. They are the choices of a hurt child and I am doing what I can to grow beyond the behaviour patterns of a hurt child.
Spacious-me is my native land. I do not belong in mini-me. Spacious-me is my true identity as a child created “in the image of God”.
2.I cannot move from mini-me to spacious-me using the same consciousness that plunges me into mini-me. This is why judgment and condemnation never work. Mini-me thrives on judgment. He thrives on dividing the world up into good and bad, likes and dislikes, positive and negative. So, when I label mini-me “bad”, I am simply reinforcing the consciousness that brought mini-me into existence in the first place.
I will never move beyond the mini-me consciousness using the consciousness that created mini-me. Finding my way to spacious-me is not a function of hard work, determination, and self-discipline. I empower spacious-me when I open to the consciousness that trusts God at the heart of all reality; my being is held. I am safe and secure, not because I am smart and capable, or in control of the forces of life, or always doing a good job of finding my way through life, but because there is a deep strength at the heart of my being that nothing and no one can undo.
3. Seeing is the key to moving from mini-me to spacious-me. The truth is, I do not want mini-me to run my life. So, whenever I am willing to see that I have been tripped into mini-me, I begin to be re-oriented to spacious-me. Consciousness, awareness, and attention are the territory in which spacious-me thrives. Mini-me and unconsciousness are synonymous.
I return to spacious-me when I am willing to see myself honestly and fully. Spacious-me and self-awareness are synonymous.
4. The royal road to spacious-me is called “letting go”. Clinging, clutching, grasping, holding on, fighting for my little piece of the pie, are the primary source of nourishment for mini-me. Surrender feeds spacious-me. There are so few things to which it is really worth clinging. There are not many ditches worth dying in. The cost of spending my life fighting trench warfare against an army of imagined enemies is high.
The energy I bring to life is vastly more important than the details of my external circumstances. The more things I am able to put down, the more often I will find myself walking freely in the land of spacious-me.
5. Mini-me thrives on speed, activity, chatter, high energy, and mind-numbing “entertainment”. Spacious-me thrives on a gentler slower pace. Spacious-me is not in the habit of forcing his way into my life. If I want to manifest spacious-me, I need to create space in my life. Spacious-me likes silence, solitude, and connection with the natural world.
6. Spacious-me needs to be in relationship with other people. But, not just any relationships will do. Spacious-me thrives in relationships that are authentic, genuine, and honest. Spacious-me quietly walks away wherever there is play-acting, posturing, and dishonesty. Mini-me chooses relationships that are twisted by hidden agendas and that centre around the constant clash of competing needs, wants and desires. Spacious-me chooses relationships in which he is free to enter without needing to be a certain way in a futile attempt to make the other person comfortable.
7. Spacious-me is a physical stance in which my back and shoulders are relaxed; my hands are loose, and my mouth is not tight. I move from mini-me into spacious-me when I am able to be fully present in my body with warmth and acceptance.
Spacious-me likes it when I stop, take a deep breath and relax. When I build tiny gaps into the moments of my life, spacious-me feels more free to emerge.
There is no prescribed list of techniques for living from spacious-me. Spacious-me is not keen on lists of rules. I need to pay attention to that soft inner voice that has the power to guide me into a more spacious place. When I respond to that voice, I find myself living more consistently in tune with the life-giving force of spacious-me.