Dear Christopher,
I attended your church today and wanted to share my impression.
The people who attend your church seem lovely. They struck me as sweet, gentle and genuine. They appear sincere in their beliefs and obviously are comfortable as part of their church community. They helped me feel welcome and accepted in their midst. I did not feel forced to buy into anything I did not believe.
That is the good news. The rest of my response is not so positive.
Even if your church had been trying to get me to buy into something I did not believe, it would not have worked because I would have not understood what it was to which you were trying to get me to assent. I simply had no idea what was going on.
I came away with the curious sense that, while you wanted very much to make me feel welcome and hoped I might return, you did everything in your power to create insurmountable barriers to me finding my way among you.
Nothing made the slightest sense to me.
I have no background in Christian faith. It was not part of my upbringing at all. I have not attended any kind of Christian gathering in the past. I have never felt the slightest need for church. I was only with you on this occasion because you were hosting a service I was obliged to attend for family reasons.
I do not know much about Jesus; the stories from the Bible are foreign territory. Words like redemption, resurrection, eternal life, salvation, even forgiveness, mean almost nothing to me. I just do not know what you are talking about. Your language seemed to be some kind of code for those who belong to the religious club you call “church”.
I do not understand why you kept talking about Jesus as if he was somehow available to me today. What little I know about him suggests he was an historical figure who died over two thousand years ago and left a few followers behind who somehow convinced people Jesus had founded a new religion called “Christianity”.
I sensed that you aim to instill positive values in the people in your church. I am happy about that; I believe the values you are promoting are, for the most part, good values. But, I am familiar with many organizations that are committed to positive community values who do an equally good job of promoting social awareness, kindness, and consideration of others. But they accomplish their task without demanding that I buy into the mumb-jumbo of your religious scheme.
Your rituals seemed strange and old-fashioned to me. I do not understand why you were wearing the peculiar garments in which you were attired. I do not understand why people stood at certain points in the service, kneeled at other times, and sometimes were instructed to sit. I was confused when everyone suddenly started going to the front and did not feel comfortable going forward or staying behind. It seemed to me a tremendously awkward moment.
I know you cannot be expected to stop and explain everything to every newcomer who comes along. But, you might want to at least consider what a barrier your words and symbols are to someone who stumbles in off the street with no experience of your religious world. Where are the bridges that would help me find my way into your community if I felt inclined to join you? What do you have to offer that would help me to navigate in this foreign land?
I do not mean my questions to be offensive. But, I am left wondering what there is that might ever cause me to choose to return to your church.
Sincerely,
An Un-member
6 comments
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June 27, 2012 at 5:30 am
Gillian F
the stranger’s style is a lot like yours.
June 27, 2012 at 6:38 am
kimgye
I sense an air of inauthenticity here. A little too neat and tidy. Claiming no knowledge but enough to explain the point of view. I could be wrong here of course and am frankly more interested in my reaction and others reaction to this “letter”. Interesting!
June 27, 2012 at 8:12 am
jaqueline
I wonder what that person would write if they were a westerner in India and walked in off the street into a Hindu temple?
Would they want the tradition to change so they can understand it? Would they want the strange clothing to become street clothes?
Would they understand the images ?
Would they complain about not knowing the thousands of years of history?
Would they be the sort of person who felt the love and then thought “I wonder what it is about this, how can I find out?” Or are they the sort of person who would go, “meh mumbo jumbo?”
I think this post is telling in that it betrays a belief that it is the form of church that needs to change instead of the heart of it.
It betrays the idea, “if only we become ‘more like them’ they would come” as a substitute for being ‘more with them’ .
Perhaps God is calling us out of our churches, because he knows where the life is and where the life is needed. Or are we not confident enough of what is within us to carry it out into the world?
How do we think Westerners became acquainted with Buddhism? Because of their pretty fashion sense? Because of a funny man wearing glasses and going “OUM”? Westerners saw joy and peace and happiness and love and grace and it made them wonder…what is this? This is what I need.
And here is the thing…would we have access to that Buddhism today if the monks had not had to flee form Tibet? Maybe, God wanted them amongst us. At a terrible cost to themselves but what if the life of the world was more important than the survival of Tibet? They are amongst us and we have not had to travel thousands of miles to be exposed to the beauty of the monks. But look what else happened, we began to care for Tibet, because we now understand what life it had nurtured and what life it had kept for all the world to be nourished by.
How I long for Church to give up it’s own programs and go and participate intentionally with the programs for doing good in our world that non- church people are already doing. Wouldn’t we find fellowship in these common causes? Would the bridge look so broken then?
June 27, 2012 at 11:06 am
Tress
to go with the story!
The think that might very well bring back a stranger would be the love that he felt. because basically that is what we all are looking for.
if that was important enough for him/her to find out more , he could approach anyone and they in turn could take him to the priest ( like any one starting a new exploration. they have to be taught some basic principals, and that the love extends to all who seek .
As for the difficulty in understanding the robes , the ceremonies and artifacts . these go back in each community since their inception and they have the value of continuity that pretends a permanence that we all crave in this transient world.
i think that we , and hopefully the church, have come a long way from the times when missionary work was telling everybody else that they are wrong , and that only Christianity holds any truth.
Social work and fellowship may be a valuable way of practicing Christian
principals , but to my mind , the purpose of the church is to gather together
people of like mind to” worship “and for their edification.to understand what is their faith,with the help of someone who has devoted their life to learning and understanding the principle in which they gradually understand and believe.
“worship”needs more explanation that i am not qualified to give!
July 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm
johnamccurdy
Doesn’t it sort of just come down to the same problem: Some things need to change, while others should stay the same – only which ones should change, and why, and for whom?
July 2, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Christopher Page
Great questions John. I await the answers with anticipation!