He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. (Luke 2:5)
Mary is unexpectedly pregnant. She is poor, vulnerable, and at least temporarily homeless. She has been forced to make a difficult and dangerous journey.
The only thing Mary knows for sure is that the trip is going to be painful. A donkey journey when great with child traveling over treacherous terrain is not a pleasant prospect. There is risk at every turn. The way is uncertain, the destination unpredictable.
Every woman who has ever brought a child into this world, knows there is no birth without pain. We fail to tell the full truth when we pretend it is possible to make the journey of life without experiencing deep pain. Pain is part of the package of being human.
We do not mature into a fuller humanity until we have begun to learn to navigate the troubling territory of suffering.
Pain is not a question to be answered, a problem to be solved by the philosophers and theologians of our day. Pain is a mystery to be received and embraced.
Mary’s boy child would grow into a man who would say,
Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me
cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:27)
There are no painless crosses. To carry the cross is to choose to bear the pain of life as it comes. When we carry our cross we accept there are difficult things we simply cannot fix; we cannot brush them away or avoid them.
The real problems start when we think something strange and unusual is happening if we experience pain. We should not be surprised when things do not work out as we had hoped they might. Life is broken. There are sharp edges on everything. Inevitably, shards of broken glass wound our lives.
There is a certain liberty in accepting the reality of pain and resigning from the determination that life should be different or other than we know it to be. It is not so much the pain that undermines us as our resistance to that pain. It is our refusal to accept things as they are that keeps us stuck in fear, anger, and resentment. Resistance to pain, only causes more pain.
Mary points to the possibility of another way of living in the face of the reality of pain.
In addition to the inevitability of pain in her life, Mary knew one other thing.
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favoured one! The Lord is with you.” (Luke 1:27,28)
In the face of pain, Mary held in her heart the promise of a presence that would remain. Mary knew that, no matter where she might travel or what she might encounter on her journey, she would never be alone.
The true beauty of this season is that, in the midst of the broken reality we experience as the human condition, our pain has the capacity to open us to the deep mystery of presence. We can experience the transcendent reality that the Divine Mystery at the source of all existence dwells within our lives and holds all of life in compassion, care and love.
We are not alone. The healing presence that was embodied in the baby born in Bethlehem continues within us and surrounds us in every circumstance of our journey. When we are willing to enter into the stunning silence that accompanies the mystery of pain, we discover a new dimension of reality open before us.
Pain has a purpose. If we allow our pain to do its work, we find that our hearts are not broken, they are broken open. We receive the gift of awareness. Our consciousness expands to embrace that Reality Who transcends all pain and who walks with us wherever the mysterious journey of our lives may lead.
In A Spacious Place 
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December 22, 2010 at 9:20 am
Laurene
“We do not mature into full humanity until we have begun to learn to navigate the troubling territory of suffering.
Pain is not a question to be answered, a problem to be solved by the philosophers and theologians of our day. Pain is a mystery to be received and embraced. ”
Christopher, this phrase is wonderful and resonates with me suggesting that pain and suffering are integral to life and while not necessarily “desired” or “chosen” open a path to a more full humanity through compassion and love.
This contrasts sharply for me to the metaphor of “brokenness”. To suggest that life is broken, from my perspective, is problematic in a number of ways. The first is that to suggest something is broken immediately raises the questions of responsibility and blame. In our society this has often led to asking/accusing people of causing “brokenness” whether it involves being homeless or having an illness . .. etc. In Christian churches this has often been languaged as “sin”; with overtones of guilt and shame; ostracizing individuals or groups of people. In the secular world it has led to asking about the origins of problems; preventing them and/or trying to “fix them” — this has been primarily the path of science and there is no doubt in relation to the development of knowledge and as a society it has brought us many gains. However, it also has profound limitations and I believe that is what we are often grappling with today as a society. What if, the problem (also read person) is not fixable? People then again are often marginalized, abandoned, and sometimes ostracized for their brokenness (individually and/or collectively); a de-valuing and de-humanizing process.
This leads me to question what if, (to return to your phrase); “We do not mature into full humanity until we have begun to learn to navigate the troubling territory of suffering.” If this was held as a value; it would open new spaces for how we talk about/attend to pain and suffering; recognizing that pain and suffering are integral to life as a part of our own humanity. As a collective if we were to embrace this value; our own affinity for those (and ourselves) walking though the territories of pain and suffering would change; and perhaps we would all deepen in our own humanity/compassion. This phrase provides hope; and on a collective level recognizes the integral nature of pain and suffering in our humanity. L.
December 22, 2010 at 11:18 am
inaspaciousplace
Great comment and a wise caution!
I think I might want to question the assumption that “to suggest something is broken immediately raises the question of responsibility and blame.” I may be naieve but I think it is possible simply to observe the reality of brokenness without that necessarily becoming a judgment or initiating a fix-it plan.
What I was hoping to point towards is the possibility that holding the brokenness without needing to fix it, opens a new dimension within us in which we discover that, in the midst of our brokenness, we become aware of a Presence we might otherwise have missed.
Instead of saying “We do not mature into full humanity…” I should have said, “We do not mature into a fuller humanity…” Of course we never reach “full humanity” in this physical life, for the very reason that we are always surrounded by and always contain within ourselves a degree of brokenness.
December 22, 2010 at 9:34 pm
jaqueline
I thought your post terrific Laurene, it made my heart enlarge a little…and the way you view it, it does cause me to see how it is more hopeful to view suffering that way. We don’t see another’s suffering as being broken ( ie less than ) but part of our human experience and we can honour it..is that what you mean? The suffering person becomes someone who is participating in the story of the universe, not a aberration from that story, not unlucky , not a mistake….
January 1, 2011 at 10:35 am
Laurene
Hi Christopher and Jaqueline, thanks for your responses — it takes me time to reply as I like to mull things . . . in spare moments of time.
I believe that pain, suffering, loss, loneliness are all aspects of our human experience; sometimes more profound or difficult than others . . . they exist. The metaphor of brokenness is, from my perspective an assessment or judgment on the world of which we are part. So my point was more that when we talk about the world as being “broken” — it assumes a particular judgment and for me also takes away from the ineffable mystery; the unknown which is so much a part of my spiritual journey. It is my belief; is no more broken than it is “un/broken”. I am un/certain why pain, suffering exist; but I know that they exist; just like I know that beauty, wonder, and joy exist.
The world simply is.
However, in recognizing suffering as integral to our (individual and collective) development as fuller human beings; as serving our humanity might allow us to open to the greater possibilities of love, compassion, and hope; and perhaps view and respond to suffering in a more open way.
Laurene.
January 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm
jaqueline
I find your words inspiring Laurene..I have been a ‘the world is broken’ person but I find your thoughts challenging- and not an unwelcome challenge.
I have had another idea for a while: that the reason we ought to be concerned with helping those who suffer is because we are helping those who are taking the brunt of it for the rest of us. I go this idea from a reading of one of Paul’s letters . It struck me at the time that he was saying something along those lines but I have not been able to find it since.
Though I wonder that his famous ‘count it all joy’ passage might not be touching on what you are getting at…