All people carry an energy transmission of life or death.

There are people who radiate fear, anxiety, doubt, and insecurity. Other people emanate steadiness, security, peacefulness, and groundedness.

Whatever we transmit, we increase. In the presence of anxiety, fear and insecurity grow. Peacefulness and security are multiplied by calm.

The energy of death comes from being deeply unconscious. If I am unaware of my own hidden agendas, needs, wants, demands, and desires, I become anxious and fearful when I feel those unresolved needs are not being met. Someone makes a demand I fear I cannot satisfy, or passes a negative judgement I fear may be true. I tense up inside. Even if I do not obviously respond, my mind is rushing in circles seeking to defend myself; I exude tension and resistance.

I generate death because I am afraid of dying. I fear annihilation. I worry that if I do not get my way, or if I am ignored, or if my presence is not validated by some external force, I will lose my identity; I will cease to exist. I feel the need to protect myself against a perceived antagonist. But, I am not entirely sure what is the nature of the threat or how to make myself feel safe again.

In my quest for safety, I may retreat behind a cold wall of withdrawal. Or I might lash out with an aggressive attack that seeks to reassert control over the situation. The shards of unacknowledged pain explode from my being and infect everyone with whom I come into contact. I long to share life, but feel trapped in death.

The energy of life comes from surrender. To surrender is to let go of the constant cacophany of voices in my head each telling me that the world out there is a threat and I must assert control in order to be safe.

When I am able tosurrender my need to seek any sense of well-being in the world outside, something inside me that is deeper than the external demands of expectation and judgement begins to open. I discover that my identity does not reside in how the world may or may not be supporting my sense of identity. I discover that my true identity resides in the depths of my being where I know that I am a creature created in the image of God, held in God’s grace, and that my life is an unfolding miracle of beauty and light.

When I am able to rest in this place of steadiness, there is nothing more I need from anyone or any thing. I am able to respond to the rising and falling tide of circumstance with an equilibrium that does not depend upon everything going as I had planned. I do not need my agendas to be fulfilled or my demands to be met. You do not exist to satisfy my desires and longings.

I am able to enter freely into relationship with you because I know that the deepest needs, wants and desires of my life have already been satisfied in the mysterious realm of love I call “God”.

The truth embodied in the Passion of Jesus is that there is an unstinting source of life that can never be broken. It is never exhausted. It cannot be defeated. There is not enough shame, guilt, darkness, or chaos in all existence to overwhelm the deep hidden reality of love that is the centre of my being.

Jesus bore on the cross everything I most fear. He was abandoned, despised, rejected, ridiculed, mocked, and subjected to the most agonizing suffering. But the life force Jesus embodied was never defeated. He rose victorious over all the forces of darkness.

If I am going to follow Jesus from death to life, I must be honest about my life. I must acknowledge the hidden agendas that so often drive my behaviour. I must look clearly and honestly at the needs, wants and desires that shape so much of my interaction with the world. I must admit the ways I am using you to satisfy my needs and to avoid facing the fear of death from which I am determined to hide.

I must also be willing to take responsibility for the fact that the energy I transmit is a choice that I make. Every moment of every day I stand before life and death. I am always free to choose life. When I choose death I communicate death. When I push away that vulnerability I so fear, I increase the frightened energy that is flowing in the world. When I use other people in an attempt to avoid my own inner discontent, I become a source of death.

As we approach the terrible, yet life-giving events at the end of Jesus’ physical life, it is good to renew our intention to open to the energy of life and to trust the strength of that presence in whom true security resides.