I find myself deeply resistant to letting go of the practice of dividing the world into “right” and “wrong”, “good” and “bad”, “likes” and “dislikes”.
My suspicion is that much of my resistance to abandoning my propensity to view the world in “good/bad”, “right/wrong”, “like/dislike” dualities is motivated by my desire to push away the pain of living in direct contact with the unmediated reality of human experience.
I cling to the strange conviction that, if I can fit everything into tidy categories, I will regain a sense of control over the forces of life that so often seem chaotic. My need to judge between “right” and “wrong”, “good” and “bad”, “likes” and “dislikes” stems from my desire to live in a universe that feels safe, predictable, and sane.
But I understand there are a number of issues with my attempts to fit life into easily identifiable polarities:
1. When I say something is “wrong” I am dividing life into opposing categories. There is “right” and there is “wrong”. There is “good”; there is “bad”. I have experiences I “like” and experiences I “dislike”. “Wrong”, “bad”, “unlikeable” are all agents of separation. These labels separate me from those parts of life I judge unacceptable, making it more difficult for me to see clearly and enter responsively into the fullness of reality.
2. The dualistic categories to which I am so addicted are never entirely accurate. Nothing is ever absolutely “right” or totally “wrong”. If I am willing to look deeply enough and listen patiently, I will always be able to find some dimension of “right” in any situation. Conversely, if I am honest, I must admit that, even in a situation that on the surface I judge to be completely “good”, there remains some mixture of self-interest and ego at work. No person is ever completely “bad”. Nothing but God is completely “good” (Mark 10:18).
Every person and every situation is always vastly more complex than mere “right” and “wrong” might suggest.
3. Paul suggests that, my knowledge of any person or any situation, is always incomplete and inadequate. So judgment must always be delayed as long as I am confined to this time-bound, material realm in which my grasp of reality is always partial.
Therefore do not pronounce judgement before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive commendation from God. (I Corinthians 4:5)
Even when “the Lord comes” it appears that Paul restricts to God the prerogative of judgment.
4. Every experience in my life is diminished by the attempt to reduce it to the confines of a narrowly defined label. Everything is always bigger than any word I use to describe it. When I reduce anything to a label, I miss part of the experience contained in that reality. I will never know a person as fully as I might, or engage as completely as I could, if I begin with a preconceived notion of the situation or the person.
5. There is a risk that, having labelled something, I feel excused from dealing with it. If I identify a situation as “wrong” I no longer need to pay attention to it. I no longer need to listen to the person I identify as “bad”. I feel justified in avoiding experiences I judge uncomfortable, awkward or painful. When I have decided I “dislike” something, I can exclude it from my experience.
6. When I separate things into categories, I no longer need to look at myself. I concretize “good” and “bad”, “right” and “wrong”, “likes” and “dislikes” into categories that are “out there”. I no longer see the similarity between myself and that which I have labelled as “bad”. “Wrong” is about someone else. When I identify “wrong” as out there, I become blind to that reality within myself. Paul says in Romans 2:1
Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things.
There is no human experience that is foreign territory for me. I am not other than the one I judge. We are deeply connected by the common reality of our humanity. I am in fact one with all life. Living in duality is living in unreality.
5 comments
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April 28, 2012 at 6:46 am
Christopher Snell
Bless you! Yes, duality is an illusion. There is no right or wrong direction in this world, only choices. Every direction we go in is going to teach us something of ourselves, and bring us closer to God.
April 28, 2012 at 8:02 am
Sonia
Thank you for this post. Lots of food for thought. I will chew on: “There is a risk that, having labelled something, I feel excused from dealing with it.”
April 28, 2012 at 9:20 am
lindsay
“There is no human experience that is foreign territory for me. I am not other than the one I judge. We are deeply connected by the common reality of our humanity. I am in fact one with all life. Living in duality is living in unreality.”
Trying to comprehend what “love thy enemy” really means …
Trying to define enemy thinking … okay, to my mind, anything I vehemently oppose …
Trying to understand communal enemy formation … i.e being put under pressure to show loyalty by picking sides … when you condemn my enemy, you condemn me too
Trying to explain why when “all hell breaks loose” … it’s getting harder and harder to put the event into a negative context …
Now, trying to understand “God is good” … versus God is … there’s even a duality now in realizing the difference …
So how do I say, “Great post!” … ? “Big *like” ? “Thumbs up!” ? “I love it!”… ? “This makes total sense!” … ?
How do I say this without it requiring some sort of judgement ? … Maybe I can say … this post is extremely significant to me personally and has a kernel in it which has the power to alter my view of the world and perhaps even fundamentally alter the way I interact in the world if I let it …
Or maybe I can simply say Great blog !!! … Big *** LIKE *** !!! … Thumbs up !!! … I love it !!! 🙂
April 29, 2012 at 6:46 am
jaqueline
one solution to duality…pick a side.
another solution…..say it is isn’t
another……………..it’s all good
another yet……….it’s all bad
and another…………let it go
another more………..it’s all them
another……………….it’s all me
one………………love……………………….another
you…………………love. ……………………….me
good………………love…………………………..bad
hold it…………………love……………………..let go
them…………………love………………………me
duality…………………love……………………..unity
(huh, has it ever occurred to us that ….duality….love…. unity…= diversity?)
April 30, 2012 at 9:31 am
sethmil
I have thought about this same subject and come to the conclusion that what I am really doing is creating my own universe and neatly categorizing everything based on my own construct, the word according to me. I trick myself into thinking my thoughts are Gods thoughts based on my knowledge of right and wrong, or of what sin is as I read it in the Bible. I don’t see how I could be wrong on many fronts but the world is not the black and white I limit myself to, I don’t think it is even a thousand shades of gray. It is full living color. What I am really doing is making myself into a god and in the end it is idolatry. But it feels so good to judge, it is so much fun. It comes quite naturally. It is nice to have a tidy house where everything is in it’s place. To all this, Jesus says, I must abandon if I am to enter the Kingdom of heaven. All that is self must be resisted in favor of seeing through God’s eyes. All His creation is good, even people I don’t like and think are despicable. God loves them just as much as me and they are His creations and He does not make trash. All social issues, all governments are under His control, it’s okay to loosen up and relax. Ours is to listen for His voice and to be sure to obey. It’s hard for my tiny minds to grasp but it’s really simple. God’s ways are not my ways, God is God and I am not. He is very explicit about not judging. I’m not quite there but I read from those who have been there that it is quite a liberating experience.