Yesterday I wrote about a person who is experiencing a “that lack of faith” and finding that experience called into question. I wondered what is really going on when someone claims to experience “a lack of faith.”
I want to suggest that people who profess a “lack of faith” do not really have no faith. They experience mystery, wonder, awe, beauty, goodness, and truth. They are committed to the invisible qualities of compassion, kindness, peace, honesty, and authenticity. They do experience a hidden mysterious dimension to life.
But, people who profess a “lack of faith” probably do not find in formal institutional religion anything that connects to their awareness of the invisible realities they experience. They do not relate to the complicated, sometimes bewildering array of dogmas that seem to be attached to religious conviction. They do not accept many of the regressive social agendas that are often associated with formal religious expressions. They reject the hypocrisy and judgementalism that seem so often to be hallmarks of the religious enterprise. So, people who identify themselves as having a “lack of faith” do not actually lack faith; they lack a commitment to many of the institutional dimensions of faith with which I also struggle.
So, what is the real difference between me and the person who professes a “lack of faith”?
In many ways we are quite similar. We share many values. We love our children, and in my case grandchildren, to distraction. We long for a world of peace, compassion, and kindness. We want to find ways for the human community to live together with greater gentleness. We desire to grow in our ability to live as authentic, thoughtful human beings.
But there are at least three things that distinguish me from the person who claims to experience a “lack of faith.”
As a person who identifies himself as a Christian, I see, perfectly embodied in the person of Jesus, those hidden invisible qualities of love, truth, beauty, and goodness that the “lack of faith” person and I both seek to honour. I believe that, when I look at Jesus, I see the perfect embodiment of what it means to be most deeply human. And, I believe that contemplating this vision, challenges me to become more fully the person I was created to be.
But, my faith goes beyond merely seeing in Jesus a model of what it means to be human. I also believe that in Christ I encounter the power to live more fully those invisible realities that represent the richest and deepest realities of true personhood. I believe Christ is the power of love and goodness at work in the world and in my life. I believe that, the more I open myself to that power, the more loving and compassionate I will be.
Third, I believe that being in community and worship with other people who share this experience of love, helps me open to that experience. My awareness of the presence and power of the invisible force of love and goodness I see in Jesus is enriched by my connection to people who share my commitment to this reality. Thus my choice to share a communal expression of love and peace in the community of church causes my life to be more fully conformed to these realities.
I need other people in my life who support and challenge my life of faith. I need people who share a vision of what it means to live deeply and authentically the inner journey of mystery and beauty that I believe is the highest human calling.
So, as difficult as I often find it, I feel compelled to join my individual journey to the individual journeys of other people. My life is enriched when I share with people who are attempting to open to the hidden invisible power of love and life that I believe is most profoundly at work when we gather intending to open our hearts to one another and to the invisible mystery of life.
My habit of joining with other people to nurture my awareness of God, makes it obvious that I am trying to be a person “of faith.” The failure to find this exercise important or meaningful, does not necessarily indicate that someone else has a “lack of faith.”
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April 30, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Ginny
Thanks for opening up this discussion Christopher (and sorry that it’s taken me a few days to read your post and respond). I feel that in many ways you very much nailed this issue on the head.
It’s wonderful to hear you empathize with my beliefs – in the past I’ve often felt very judged by those of faith when they learn that I do not subscribe to a religion. I’m left feeling that they believe I am somehow lacking as a human being (that they believe I do not have the capacity to experience a higher level of awareness, or simply that I have never taken the time to ponder my existence or the mysteries of the world), and it is their duty to enlighten and educate me. Instead, I feel that you put yourself in my shoes – and I thank you very much for doing so.
As you speculated, I (like any other human being) experience “mystery, wonder, awe, beauty, goodness, and truth”. And I have spent most of my adult life exploring how the universe works (ex. many long years and late nights studying Astrophysics) and what the heart is comprised of (ex. devoting my professional life to caring for those living with cancer). And I have been ‘made aware’ and deeply touched on many occasions. But when it comes to explaining what it is I feel (or more importantly: why it is), I do not have an answer.
I have attended church on many occasions, I have held lengthy discussions with friends of many different faiths, I have read most of the Bible (and some of the Quran), and I have been baptized – twice. Yet, I have never been convinced that there is an Entity who oversees my day-to-day life and who has a master plan for me. And, really, I find this quite sad sometimes – I would love to be able to place my fears and worries on someone else’s shoulders and to have trust that my life has a purpose. As a non-believer, I also often feel left out: I do not have a community in which I get to congregate every week and talk about non-superficial topics, and when major life events occur, there isn’t a list of loving people signed up to offer me and my family support. But I can’t believe in something that I do not feel – just as someone of faith can not be expected to do the opposite.
For me, there are too many questions. Is there really a God? If so, which god is the real God? What will happen to my soul when I die? Will I ever find my faith? I don’t know. But maybe that’s what sets me and people of faith apart – I’m okay with not knowing.
May 1, 2013 at 7:45 pm
John Porterfield
“But I can’t believe in something I can’t feel -……..”. Strange as it may sound, I can’t believe in something I do feel. Appreciate your honesty.
April 30, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Christopher Page
thank you Ginny for this lovely and thoughtful response. It will take me at least two posts to reply… so stay tuned.
April 30, 2013 at 5:46 pm
RobBar
Back in Edmonton my Minister who was also a good friend of mine were having one of our usual discussions about our faith and struggles in living the walk and being in community with a bunch of strangers. Our bond of course was our Christian beliefs and struggles to walk the road.
After a few strong coffees (no wee dram in them, shucks) all of a sudden David said to me, you know Rob if we are wrong then we will never know but if we are right, the heavens will sing and rejoice. So, rather than wondering if we should or not we can at least enjoy God’s blessings with like folks as we struggle and rejoice.
A footnote, this was the first time I had ever heard a minister share with me his own insecurities and doubts as he ministered to us
luv
My muse
Rob
May 1, 2013 at 5:04 am
Questioning “My Lack of Faith” #3 (see April 27,28) | In A Spacious Place
[…] My correspondent who testifies to experiencing a “lack of faith” has written a beautiful response to my two recent posts. See the comments section at: https://inaspaciousplace.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/questioning-my-lack-of-faith-2/ […]