The ego always feels under nourished. For the ego, there is never enough; it is never quite safe; it always feels it hasn’t quite reached the destination.

That is built into the nature of egoic consciousness. Egoic nature is founded in scarcity. It is founded in the way the mind works splitting the world into subject and object, into God and me, into other and self. So you’re always feeling cut off.

As long as you are perceiving in subject/object polarity, you will perceive lack; you will feel cut off from the whole; you will believe the goal is to get yourself back to the whole. And you will always feel that others have more. You will always feel wounded.

Everybody feels less than they could be. It is built into the thought structure of that thing you want so badly – your perfect ego. You can’t have it that way.

The first thing God does for most of us on the spiritual journey is to drench us in goodness and sweetness. We feel whole; we feel like we’ve finally come in out of the cold. This is an immature phase of the spiritual journey.

When you start with egoic consciousness, you need this experience of goodness and sweetness. But it becomes a crutch. A crutch is a wonderful thing when you have a broken leg. But when you are healed, a crutch just slows you down. So God gradually or sometimes swiftly removes the crutch. And if you’ve been using your spiritual practice for spiritual materialism, you get plunged into the dark nights. All of a sudden you sit down and there are no consolations. Instead your skin is crawling. This is a sign of progress.

Don’t get hooked in the first place. Rather than grabbing on, let go. As long as the mind grabs, you are patterning materialism. Instead in CP we pattern letting go so deeply and so profoundly that you wouldn’t even think of anything else.

Why is this non-clinging response so important?

If we can let go and not grab on, we stay present at that deeper, clearer place, that clear light that is always there at the ground of our being.

When you grab on to an insight or an illumination you are grabbing on to the form rather than the consciousness itself. You are creating yourself or recreating yourself at the level of form, this one particular psychological being, rather than staying present to this immense opportunity you have during the prayer to simply flow as being itself.

The moment you grab on with your spiritual materialism you are back into the experience/experiencer dualism. You become the one who is having an experience. You become the one to whom something is happening to. God is giving you this little insight.

Dualistic consciousness cannot experience unitive being. As long as you want to hang on to the experience/experiencer dualism and revel in all these experiences, this is where you will be stopped. No matter how good it feels, you will be stuck at the illuminative level (between purgative and unitive). The illuminative stage is characterized by a contented ego that has wonderful mysterious unitive experiences. But you are having experiences. You can go further than this dualistic consciousness which can have unitive experiences but cannot be unitive consciousness.

You don’t need to stop at the illuminative. You can move right through it to the place where you suspend the subject/object dualism, become unitive being and then flow back into the personal from the wholeness. Then you operate in the world as a true saint who wears personal consciousness as a dress, as a mantle, as a kind of ornament and knows that it is necessary as service in this life, to wear the ornament. But you are not confused for a moment that you are that.

Form comes and goes but you as consciousness is deeper than any form. And you know that so clearly that it allows you to go through life clinging to nothing. The great investments, the things you build, you can leave at a moment’s notice. There are no hooks any more. You’re not doing anything to express yourself, or assert yourself, or acquire yourself. Therefore you’re not manipulating anything. You’re not lying. You’re not trying to make the cosmos be the way you want it to be because you know that place where you can flow with Being itself and that nothing is lost; everything is. That’s the place CP is pointing.

In CP you are not making your mind a blank. You are turning over the reigns of your being to a deeper intelligence.

The universe is drenched in Divine Wisdom. As you practice CP the capacity to be in touch with Divine Wisdom increases. The only thing that causes us to miss it is our preoccupation with our psychological self. As we clear away the veils created by clinging to our own story, we breathe deep breaths of this Wisdom.