CAMP COLUMBIA, Thetis Island, B.C. JULY 13-15, 2007
Cynthia Bourgeault

Saturday July 14, 2007 9:15 a.m.

Our identities that we wear are only clothes that at some point will let us down.

Blame is like trying to comb your hair when you are drowning. Vindication at the level of the world is not a possibility.

If you are going to find your way to freedom you have to grow up as soon as possible out of blame.

Forgiving, like labour, requires incubation – don’t think forgiveness, not something you can do. But you can till the ground; you can give up blame by not being hooked by it. You do have the power to not let a thought think you. This is not repression but letting go. Allow the thought/feeling to rise and then say “I am not going to think you.”

Everything that lands us in a stew is a complex dance of cause and effect – no one is ever completely innocent; no one is ever completely guilty.

The more you can embrace what lies ahead the better – takes a generosity of spirit.

You gradually discover that a different kind of energy emerges. You can catch a scent of this – all is held in love. There is a sense of wholeness. We want to stay close to this, to live out of this.

The most precious thing is the tether that connects you to the love of Christ. Nothing in heaven or on earth has the right or the power to disconnect you from the well-being that is tethered to you in Christ.

There are two levels of dying:

1. dying to self-will – sees a duality of wills – you want/ God wants – finally you knuckle under. Says – we have a will/ God has a will – I need to bring my will into line with God’s will. This is the normal ballpark of the entire Christian life for most people. This will not last, somewhere along the way we discover God is a will and you are God’s will.
2. dying to self at level of identity – dying to your egoic self as the seat of the basic sense of who you are, the location of your identity.

Perceives through the Egoic Operating System (EOS) – interested in qualities that make you unique – finding yourself means getting rid of the false picture and getting in touch with the more real picture. Eventually you die to the picture altogether. You come to the realization that there is no “I”. You no longer relate everything to the mirage of “I”. This is where the contemplative watershed comes in.

Meditation takes you into this level of dying to your identity. You share in the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ.

Thoughts generate a sense of identity that is smaller than you are. Thoughts suck you back into your little self which after experiencing the spaciousness of meditation is simply boring. You discover that you are not your thoughts.

Experience meditation as something which allows you to coincide with an unknown but greater sense of self.

God is tenderly holding our whole soul. If you try to create your being, you crash into the dock. If you stay in touch with your inner being, your impact will take care of itself.