It is an honest question and I do not know the answer. I really don’t get it. I would love someone to explain it to me. Why is God against same-sex marriage?

The most common answer I hear is that God is against same-sex marriage because the Bible is absolutely clear that all homosexuality, no matter the context in which it is expressed, is a sin.

But there is not a single verse in the Bible that states that faithful committed life-long monogamous same-sex intimacy is sinful.

And, even if the Bible did make such a statement, saying God is against something because God says it is wrong, is not an answer, anymore than a vegetarian saying, “I am against meat-eating because I say eating meat is a sin” is a sensible argument for being a vegetarian.

Why would God say that two people committing themselves to live together in love for life is a sin?

I understand why God would say greed and covetousness are sins. Greed and covetousness destroy human freedom, ruin communities, and inflict untold damage on the creation that is home to all the forms of life we know.

I understand why God is against injustice and violence. These all-too-common behaviours cause unimaginable pain to the human community. Injustice makes it possible for some of us to discard more material goods in a day than many people in the world could hope to accumulate in a lifetime.

I understand why gluttony, drunkenness, and sloth are sins. Gluttony, drunkenness, and sloth destroy human health.

I understand why God detests hatred, anger, jealousy, lying, gossip, slander, backbiting, and harsh words against another person. These are all destructive to the flourishing of peaceful life-giving human relationships.

I do not understand why God would be against two people committing themselves to live together in a life-long, loving, intimate, respectful relationship simply because they happen to be of the same gender.

God appears to be against behaviours that cause harm. God seems to be against attitudes that destroy human prospering. God seems to be concerned about real problems.

In my Bible I do not see God fretting over imagined horrors that might unfold because society no longer enforces a moral standard that was forged thousands of years ago when no one even imagined the possibility of two people living together in a committed responsible loving life-long same-gender relationship.

There is abundant evidence that the marginalization and abuse of people who experience same-sex attraction has caused enormous harm to individuals and to the human community. But, where is the evidence that two people of the same sex choosing to live together in intimate loving relationship is a problem?

I have never seen any concrete specific demonstrable damage obviously being done when a man determines God has brought him together with another man “to love and to cherish til death do us part.”

How am I hurt when two responsible mature women establish a loving and caring home?

Is my marriage threatened or in any way undermined because people of the same gender are now legally able in my country to make the same lifelong loving commitment my wife and I made 38 years ago? Is my family under attack because two people of the same gender share physical intimacy within the context of a permanent loving relationship?

So, as long as a behaviour is not damaging any part of the human community or the creation we inhabit, why would I not rejoice at a move that seems to encourage people to take their relationships seriously and to build relationships that are more responsible, stable and loving?

I truly do not understand.

The only other answer I have ever heard to this question is that same-gender relationships are “unnatural” and, because they are unnatural, they are wrong in any context whatsoever.

But who gets to decide what is “natural” and what is “unnatural”?

Are antibiotics “natural”? Are psychotropic pharmaceuticals “natural”? Is it “natural” for people to go hurtling through the sky at insane speeds in long cylindrical tubes so they can move from one continent to another in the least possible time? Is it “natural” for huge crowds to want to spend thousands of dollars gathering in large stadiums watching big men wearing body armour run around on a field smashing into each other and getting head injuries chasing a little ball?

For some people the experience of being sexually attracted to people of the same gender is perfectly natural. Who am I to say that, just because this is not my experience, it must be unnatural and therefore God must be against it?

Human sexuality is a deep and profound mystery. There are aspects of human sexuality none of us can understand. I stand before the mystery of my own being and acknowledge the limitations of my ability to comprehend many of the intricacies of my own life. The fact that I may not understand something does not make it wrong. My discomfort at certain behaviours is no indication that God is necessarily opposed to such actions.

In the face of the mysterious power that is human sexuality why would I not rejoice at a shift in our culture that encourages people to exercise their sexuality responsibly and respectfully in the context of a faithful, life-long, loving, monogamous relationship?