19And this is the judgement, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil.

Why would I love “darkness rather than light”? What is it about “light” that makes “darkness” seem so appealing?

The problem with “light” is that, in the “light” I become visible; I am exposed. In the “light” I risk seeing things in myself that I am not sure I am going to like.  Others may see things in me that I am pretty sure I do not want them to see.  So, I seek to hide in the “darkness”.

In the midst of “darkness”, Jesus sought to draw all people to an awareness of the “light”.

He sought to model a way of life that has nothing to hide, a way of integrity, truthfulness, and sincerity. He lived with honesty and transparency. Jesus appears to have had nothing to hide. I am not sure I would have the courage Jesus had in the face of his enemies to ask,

Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? (John 8:46 NIV)

The ability to live in the light, depends upon the steady conviction that what I am is essentially “good”. It is the experience Jesus had at the beginning of his public ministry. When he was baptized by John, as Jesus was coming up out of the water, the heavens broke open and a voice from heaven said, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

Jesus needed to hear this voice of the Spirit. I need to hear this voice. It is this voice that enables me to walk in the light, even in the midst of darkness.

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How do I see in myself a temptation to seek the “darkness”? What are the voices that call me to live in the light, to trust in my “belovedness”.

Sandro Botticelli Christ on the Mount of Olives Sandro Botticelli (1500)