Give our Lord the benefit of believing
That his hand is leading you,
And accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
In suspense, and incomplete.


Can I stay with the “suspense”? Can I remain in front of the reality that in this material realm I will always experience myself as somewhat “incomplete”? 

This is the place to which I always come when I forsake what was and move toward what is to come. If I can hold myself here, I will find a certain freedom I never discover when I cling to the familiar shore or rush too quickly to a distant horizon in the hope of finding a secure dwelling place away from the changeableness and uncertainty that is always the journey of this life. 

Rather than seeking to force my will on life, can I at least “Give our Lord the benefit of believing/ That his hand is leading” me? Is it too much to ask that, I might extend just this small courtesy to the Mighty Power of the universe Who brought all being into existence, gave me the gift of life and sustains every breath that I breathe? 

Nothing is to be gained by the arrogance of assuming I know best how life should unfold. 

What is this “anxiety” that drives me to seek to assert my puny will over the forces of life?

I see that I fear there are malevolent forces bent on my destruction. But when I am still for a moment, right here, right now, in this place of doubt, when everything is called into question, faced by my insecurity, I hear a small voice within whispering those familiar words, 

You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies

(Psalm 23:5)

In the sound of that voice, I know that all will be well and I find I can journey towards the distant shore with a measure of peace and confidence in that One alone who gives me shelter in the storm and who nourishes me when I am in need. 

Lord help me to rest in you and to sense the nourishment of your Presence in the midst of the uncertainty of these days.