“What do you say?”

I was raised on that question. It usually came after someone had given me something, or done something nice for me.

The question reflected the first cosmic principle of life impressed upon me from my earliest days – always, always, always be polite!

“Polite” meant saying “Excuse me,” holding the door for a lady, never mumbling, not making too much noise, resisting the temptation to put your elbows on the table, placing your knife and fork beside each other on your plate when you finished eating, and always responding to any gift (even woolen polka dot knee socks) by saying, “Thank you.”

Manners needed to be trained. So, in my world someone was always near at hand to remind me of the rules of etiquette by which the universe was held in harmony. The rules of the game were constantly reinforced with a glance or the quickly administered prompt asking, “What do you say?”

It is many years since I lived under those carefully imparted rules of polite behaviour. I am not sorry that I know now to say “Thank you.” But I am also not sure that learning the behaviour is the same as learning the lesson.

My grandchildren are growing up in a different world. For them “polite” is not the organizing principle of the universe. It is not that they are impolite, but I do not hear them being reminded constantly to watch their manners. I do not think I have ever head them asked “What do you say?” And yet, I frequently hear these children, responding without prompting by saying, “Thank you.”

They have learned the lesson, as well as the behaviour. They have experienced the welling up of gratitude within and so have naturally sought a way to express their thankfulness.  True gratitude is not merely a social convention. Thanksgiving emerges out of the awareness of abundance. It is a deep inner experience, a well-spring of aliveness that rises from within and seeks to find an authentic expression in the external world.

At the centre of the tradition that has nurtured my spiritual life since I was a child there is a meal. We call the meal “Eucharist.” The word means “thanksgiving.”

This meal we call “thanksgiving” is more than just a way of saying “Thank you.” As we share in the cosmic mystery of this banquet, we acknowledge and enter into the fundamental fecund life-force that lies at the root of all life. We join the elemental power of creation which is the energy that flows out in gratitude from a heart that is open and responsive to the gracious reality in which we live.

We do not need to be taught gratitude. We only need to open and respond from our awareness of the abundance of life.

The more our hearts open to the aliveness of life, the more we catch Thanksgiving erupting spontaneously from a grateful heart.  As we open to the power of creation, the force of gratitude grows and flows out of our lives. There are no polite words that can fully express the mystery of this force at the heart of all life.