1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger,
   or discipline me in your wrath.

2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
   O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror.
3 My soul also is struck with terror,
   while you, O Lord—how long?

(nb: right or wrong, I choose, when I read of God’s “anger” or “wrath,” to hear HP using metaphorical language. I hear him affirming the truth that there is a force of goodness and flourishing in life [“God”/the Lord] that is adamantly opposed to the forces of violence and destruction that are also at work in life. These two forces are incompatible. “Hate,” “wrath,” “anger,” are all words HP uses to refer to God’s strong opposition to everything that undermines human flourishing.)

When I follow the forces of violence and destruction, I feel “rebuked” by life. The word carries with it the sense of correction.

While much pain is undeserved and essentially random, it is always a sign that something is out of alignment. The purpose of “rebuke” is “discipline;” it is intended to benefit the one who is rebuked. But “rebuke” hurts.

Like HP, I do not want to suffer. When life is hard, I tend to believe that I am under attack; some malevolent force has risen up to undermine my well-being. This awkward painful circumstance needs to be fixed.

I become impatient – “O Lord – how long?”; this suffering needs to stop.

But, the writer of the Letter to the Hebrews says,

the Lord disciplines those whom he loves, and chastises every child whom he accepts (Hebrews 12:6).

Whatever the cause may be the hardship I experience is a call to open to the “grace” that is always present even in the midst of struggle.

When I am “languishing” and “shaking with terror,” I need to find my way back to an awareness that even this pain can be a “grace.” Life is in favour of life. When I acknowledge that pain is an inevitable reality of being human, something deep inside me begins to stir. I open to a depth that I would not find if everything always went along smoothly. The bumps in the road are a gift on the journey.

How do I respond when I experience myself “languishing”?

Lord, help me to look more deeply and to hear your call in the midst of the uneasiness of life.